Thoughts and Feelings

So the first chemo treatment happened at the beginning of October.

Then, the BEST thing that happened in October was the wedding of Elle and Craig. Elle is our niece, and Craig is the love of her life who also has excellent comedic timing.

The above is my favorite picture from the wedding festivities, simply because the bride, Elle, worked the camera like a boss, and the groom, Craig, timed his break in photo protocol perfectly and proved that he belongs in our family. George responded that he would never wash that spot again. 

The bride was beautiful. So was the groom. And so was the groom's sister, who was his best person.

My favorite moment of the ceremony. Craig just
kept saying, "I love you," over and over.

Elle's mother was beautiful and walked her down the aisle. The groom's parents, Cindy and Kirk, were beautiful. 

And since it was Elle, there had to be a costume change before the reception/dinner. Certainly, dancing in her gown would have been impossible. Check out Craig's green velvet smoking jacket and Elle's red shoes. Oh, my. 

My own little family looked beautiful, too. 

George also captured my new profile pic for social media.
Don't get used to the hair, though. It didn't last long.

The whole wedding experience was delightful from beginning to end. We could not be happier for Elle and Craig, who are as made for each other as two humans can be. 

A wedding sure lifts the spirits. 

Almost as soon as we got back, my hair started letting go. So now hats are my jam.

I texted some friends to meet me at the mall to look for a hat just before the shearing. Three women showed up, and they made it more than fine...it was fun. 

The hair shaving bothered me more than I thought it would. My husband was a peach about it (see what I did there?), and he even took all the shorn hair out to the woods by our house so the animals can use it...and so I wouldn't have to look at it. But I've adjusted...as much as a person can under the circumstances. 

And people have sent me some amazing hats and scarves, so it's fine. 

It's amazing how often those words cross my lips. 

It's fine. 

Because there's precious little choice in the matter. And I'm surrounded by not just one but several communities of support. My little family, with George as a rock and warm place to land. My church and book club friends. My extended family in multiple states. The stamping community, which has come through with so many lovely cards and well wishes on social media. The support I and my family has received has been truly heaven sent.

An abundance of blessings. 

Mercy, grace, peace, love, and gratitude,

Susan

People Are Awesome

So we had our Stephen Ministry meeting last Tuesday, and this happened.

Back: Sally, Anna, Stephanie, Vicki, Tina Y., Lois, and Linda
Front: Zandra, Mariel, me, Patti
Missing: Tina S. and Dorothy

These awesome ladies conspired for over a month to put this beautiful quilt together. Each square is unique, with contributions from each of them as well as from the awesome pastor and his awesome wife Kim R., who had breast cancer last year. The back of the quilt is comfy flannel, and the front includes a butterfly in memory of the Karen of Karen's Card Shop, who was a Stephen Minister. What awesome and precious friends I have, and I thank my God on every remembrance of them. 

And yes, I wear socks with my Birkenstocks in fall, winter, and spring. Best. Shoes. Ever. For my feet, at least.

The Cancer Care Center at Wright Patterson Air Force Base Medical Center has awesome people. Brenda, Cindy, Emily, Dee, and Jennifer are awesome, as are Dr. Bentley (surgery), Dr. Bukhari (chemo), and Dr. Hristov (radiation). I thank my God on every remembrance of them.

After I signed the consent to chemo, my awesome SIL Angela and BIL Mike sent me these. I thank my God on every remembrance of them.

Another awesome friend named Kim P. is designing t-shirts for our pink-out at church at the end of the month. She let me pick the design. I thank my God on every remembrance of her.

Chemo starts Tuesday, Oct. 4. I'm still wrapping my head around that. And speaking of wrapping my head, my awesome mom and sister are mailing me a box of silk scarves, and another awesome Tina, Tina S., is getting me comfy hats from an awesome friend of hers who went through this mess a year ago. I thank my God on every remembrance of them.

And the awesome cards. They are still coming, and I love each and every one. Thank you, awesome readers. I thank my God on every remembrance of you.

Surely I've missed acknowledging someone, but please know that I appreciate every prayer, every good thought, every email, and every kindness coming my way. 

People are awesome. 

Mercy, grace, peace, and love, 

Susan

Well, Expletive

My friend the amazing Joan B. sent me a batch of fabulous cards for Karen's Card Shop, and this one caught my attention. It was PERFECT for me but not so perfect for a church card shop, so I kept it for myself. I'm sure Joan won't mind.

Fabulous Card by Joan B.

Last Thursday, I had a bad day. 

I was supposed to teach the second half of Module 2 of the Stephen Minister (SM) Training Course through our Greater Dayton SM Network. My show time at Fairhaven Church was 9:00. 

I forgot all about it. At 9:15, I was in the English Department at my college in downtown Dayton trying to see my department chair about next semester so she'd know I was going to be healthy, fully recovered from radiation, and able to teach in January. 

Fortunately, my co-leader in SM, Zandra, sent me a text: "Where are you?"

The lightbulb came on. 

Expletive.

And yes, I recognize the irony of expletives spoken before going to teach Stephen Ministers. 

I rushed to Fairhaven, berating myself the whole time. How could I forget about my commitment to teach "Feelings: Yours, Mine, and Ours"? How could I leave my dear friend Zandra in a panic? Letting people down is a Myers-Briggs ENFJ's worst nightmare.

A part of that training module covers the importance of identifying feelings correctly. In the car, I identified my feelings: shame and embarrassment. Not good teacher ethos. 

I arrived about five minutes before Zandra finished the first half of the module. 

Y'all. One of the Fairhaven SM Leaders, Diana, who was running the slides for the class, opened her arms and gave me the biggest, longest, lovingest, most grace-filled hug. 

We had the scheduled break, and I began teaching the lesson. I LOVE teaching Stephen Ministry Training classes. The students want to be there, want to learn, are called by God to soak it up. It's teacher heaven! Afterwards, Zandra said I nailed it. So yay for being an experienced public speaker and having taught the material six times before. 

But three times during teaching, my Apple Watch buzzed with phone calls. No way was I going to let these students down by interrupting the lesson to look at my watch, especially when we were on a roll. When they were in small groups doing an activity, I checked my watch. The Cancer Care Center. Why three calls? What's going on? Never mind, Susan. You can call them back after 11:30. Focus on what you need to do right now. 

When the students left, I called the Cancer Care Center. Emily the infusion nurse said that Dr. B, the hematology oncologist, wanted to schedule an appointment with me as soon as possible.  

No no no no no no no....

Dr. B and I already had an appointment in late October to talk about the medication I will take after radiation treatment. Why would he need to see me now? Could it have to do with the OncoTest on the tumor?

Expletive. 

Emily checked with Dr. B, and he was available to talk. I've never felt sorrier for a doctor. You see, based on the biopsy and size of the tumor, no one really thought chemo would be part of my treatment. But the OncoTest proved otherwise. The score was high enough that Dr. B feels chemo would be helpful.

Expletive.

I will meet with him on Wednesday for details. One thing I know is this: if I were to have a recurrence of cancer in the future, and I hadn't done everything I could now to kill this crap, I would hate myself. I have a friend who's in the misery of a recurrence of stage 4 colon cancer right now. It's horrible and I hate every bit of what she's going through. 

So now, instead of being fit as a fiddle in January, 2023, it'll be April. So now, I have to tell my department chair that I can't teach next semester, and I'm gutted and scared. So now, instead of this being The Great Inconvenience of 2022, it's...something else I don't have words for yet. 

No words except expletives.

I'm not going to start any treatment until after our niece's wedding on October 14. My friend Kim, who had breast cancer last fall, had lunch with me after the SM class. She's good for my soul as well as my good luck charm for shopping, so she and I went to Macy's and found my dress for the wedding. Red velvet and fits like a glove.

So Thursday wasn't a total loss.

I need to put on my big girl panties, stop feeling sorry for myself, and deal with this stuff one day at a time. I'm getting there. 

Prayers and good wishes appreciated for me and for my friend Mary, and all of our family and friends who are dealing with our cancer. Because when one person has cancer, it affects everyone who loves them, too.  

Mercy, grace, peace, and love,

Susan

Ink, Bling, Paper, and Dogs

Today's card highlights a fun brushstroke set from My Favorite Things called Abstract Art and a sentiment from Simon Says set called Sending Happy Thoughts. No die cuts, no fancy tools, just ink, stamps, paper, and bling.

Designs like this are fun for playing with colors, so I pulled three different inks from my Archival Ink collection. Isn't the combo swell?

And here are some fun dog pictures. 

Cooper trying to escape his trip to the vet.

Lily being sassy.

Lily being sad.

Both being mooches. You can really tell the size
difference between the two of them here.

Recovery is going well. Radiation will start on October 18. The Great Inconvenience of 2022 is moving forward!

Mercy, grace, peace, and love,

Susan

Julie Ebersole Is a Genius! And Thanks, Charlotte!

I've engaged in quite a lot of retail therapy in the past two months, and one one such jaunt led me to purchase Nature Walk Stamp and Die Combo from Essentials by Ellen. Julie Ebersole designed the set, and it was SO easy to work with! The sentiment, however, may be my favorite part of this 3D postcard as it so fully captures my 2022. 

This card doesn't have a fold, just three layers of cardstock separated with dimensional tape. It's too thick to mail, but my intention was to keep it for myself on an easel. It is so stinkin' cute, as Julie would say, and it makes me smile every time I look at it!

Also, mondo thanks to Charlotte A. for sending in beautiful cards for Karen's Card Shop. They are lovely and will go into stock next week! Thank you, Charlotte!

Recovery continues, thanks be to God. 

Mercy, grace, peace, and love,

Susan

A Correction and a Card and an Update

 Whew. The last eleven days have been interesting! I managed to turn a corner in recovery Wednesday and am feeling much better now. I think the Percocet was talking on my last post, LOL!

And speaking of my last post, reader Glynnis thinks that the inspiration card was not made by the Mary Ann I attributed it to. She commented:

"I am fairly sure this is one made by Shayne Eddie, who does beautiful simple styles."

Let's give proper credit. Thanks, Shayne, for the inspiration! And thank you, Glynnis, for the information.

And now for today's card, which made me inordinately happy because of its crisp simplicity but turned out to be very hard to photograph. I think we got there in the end.

The dies are Hero Arts infinity hearts, and the sentiment is from Simon Says Stamp's Tiny Words. The card size is 4.25" square.

For those following my breast cancer journey, this week yielded some excellent news. The genetic testing came back negative, so no more worries about BRCA or other cancer genes that might increase chance of recurrence and necessitate further surgeries. Yay!!! 

Also, the biopsy on the lump and lymph node came back. While the pathologist upgraded the tumor from Grade 1 to Grade 2 (cells were growing faster than they were when I had the biopsy seven weeks before and were less differentiated), the margins were clear, the stage stayed steady at T1b, and the lymph node was completely free of cancer. YAY!!!!!

So it seems we will proceed with the original plan, which will be to start radiation in mid-October, once I'm fully healed from the surgery. Two weeks after radiation is complete, I'll start endocrine therapy (a pill I'll take daily for 5+ years). 

Thank you so much to those of you who've sent cards my way! I truly appreciate the cards, emails, and prayers. You are an amazing community! 

Mercy, grace, peace, and love,

Susan

Post-Op Report

Yesterday was quite the adventure. The cancer is out of me (yay!) and only one lymph node needed to be removed (yay!). I'm feeling okay today, just sore and tired. 

The highlight of my day yesterday was having two radiologists argue over who would inject the tracer into my boob. Both wanted to do it. The one who did my biopsy won, and then apologized for having to stick more needles in me. But he was fast, efficient, and got it done!

Everything about this journey is weird, including the blue pee that results from the tracer clearing my system. Someone really ought to warn patients about that one.

Now, the focus is on recovery from the surgery so we can start radiation. Spectacular. 

So today's card is in honor of all the many, many people who have supported me thus far...friends, family, doctors, nurses, technicians, pastors, counselors, and so forth. My card was inspired by THIS Beautiful PIN. Mary Ann's card is gorgeous, so I did some minor tweaks to make it all about a butterfly. Also, square cards in the US require extra postage, so I went with standard A2 size. 

The butterfly and leafy stem dies are from Tim Holtz, the crimper is from Fiskars, and the stamp is from Simon Says. The butterfly was cut from a piece of watercolor paper with a wash of Twinkling H2Os. You can see a bit of the shimmer in the close-up photo. 

I colored the clear rhinestones with a Copic marker to match. 

What a great layout from Mary Ann! I'm going to play with it again.

Many thanks are also due to the fabulously talented Eddie, who sent a box of cards to Karen's Card Shop last week! They are already packaged and at the church, ready to sell. 

In anticipation of recovery, I placed a largish order with Ellen Hutson last week. When the shipment arrives, I should be finished with the "good" drugs and therefore safe to wield an Exacto knife again. 

Woohoo!

Mercy, grace, peace, and love,

Susan