Saturday, June 23, 2012

A Sympathy Card with Quilts in Mind

My friend Karen Hoyer died a week ago while I was on vacation. We went to graduate school together from 1992 through 1994. We shared an office, taught freshman composition, took classes together, critiqued each other's papers, encouraged each other, and shared a wonderful bond of friendship.

Karen had always been crafty, but I didn't turn crafty until about 8 years after graduate school. After working in universities for a few years, Karen decided she liked quilting better than academia, so her husband Nick finished the unfinished area of their basement and bought her a massive quilting machine. She worked and taught at local stores. And then she got cancer. Four years ago.

Karen and Nick had two daughters, Jordan and Chelsea. Chelsea, the younger of the two, was just learning to walk when I met Karen. Jordan has now graduated from college; Chelsea is in college. And they just lost their mama. Nick just lost his wife.

All I can do is send a card and pray that God's peace and comfort surrounds them and helps them--and all of Karen's extensive family and friends--through this terrible time of loss.





When Karen died, that left me with two friends with cancer. Those two are doing quite well. But just as Karen passed, another friend, named Zandra, was diagnosed. She went to the emergency room for abdominal pain, and the scan that revealed the diverticulitis that was causing her immediate pain also revealed an 8-cm mass on her kidney...a mass the doctor said almost always turns out to be cancer. She has never been in the hospital for anything in her life, and she's a few years older than I. And on Wednesday, she's having surgery to remove the kidney.

Her husband is a cancer survivor.

Cancer sucks. We can pray. We can donate money to cancer treatment and research, we can reach out to those who are suffering with meals and cards and a hand to hold.

But the most important thing we can do is help those who are living with cancer live. Really live. Karen lived four years after her stage 4 diagnosis. She lived to see one daughter graduate from college and the other graduate from high school. She lived to go on a cruise and teach more quilting classes and make more quilts and give more hugs and hold more babies and share more love.

We will all die of something. But living now...well, that's what we need to do. I only hope I--all of us, really--can live now as well as Karen did, can appreciate the gift that living is, can share hope and joy and love and smiles.

And for now, that's all I have to say about that.

Supplies
stamps: Papertrey Ink (Quilter's Sampler, Botanical Silhouettes)
paper: Papertrey
ink: Memento
accessories: markers, dimensionals, 3/4" square punch


30 comments:

  1. Thank you Susan, for sharing your memories and thoughts and a beautiful quilter's card. Sympathies to you in your loss of a friend.

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  2. I'm so sorry for your loss. Knowing it's coming doesn't make it any easier. This card is beautifully appropriate for the occasion and I'm sure it will bring comfort to the family.

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  3. I am so sorry to hear about your friend. Knock on wood, with the exception of my brother-in-law (of 2 years) I have not lost a close one to cancer. It is such a terrible disease. Thanks for sharing your thoughts, and once again, I am so sorry...

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  4. So sorry about your friend. I have lost many relatives and friends to cancer. The saddest for me is the students I have lost to cancer. One was in the 6th grade when diagnosed and died a year later. I have another student that we celebrated his remission with a pizza party with his school friends. Exactly a year later it returned. I have learned so much from both boys on how to deal with the emotional side of such a disease. I gave the 2nd student $50. to buy a video game to distract during chemo treatments. He immediately told me he was sharing it with his younger brother, "after all he had to gone through a lot too". I didn't cry in front of him. He is my role model! Sorry so long. But you're so right. We have to keep living. Bless you, you said so many words that I haven't been able to.

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  5. Beautifully written as only you can write. I am so sorry you lost your friend and that Nick and the girls lost their wife and Mother. I agree. Cancer really sucks. Life here on planet earth is short no matter how we die. Or live.

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  6. Susan, I'm sorry you lost your friend. It was nice to read about her. And you are so right about living our lives to the fullest. Your card is beautiful and very fitting.

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  7. Susan, I am so sorry to hear of your friend's death. Thank you for sharing such positive thoughts in your post. We must all LIVE our lives to the fullest. Your card is simply beautiful and I'm sure will be treasured.

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  8. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend. You couldn't have said what you said without a ton of love. Thanks for your thoughts. They helped me. May God be with you.

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  9. Breaks my heart when people suffer and have their lives cut shot by cancer... Huge cyber hug to you! LOVE your statement of letting those with cancer really live. I'm sure for many, the diagnosis brings the gift of each day to a new level and to be able to have people walk alongside you as your seize each day is priceless.

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  10. Susan, thank you for sharing your poignant and personal thoughts with us. As always, you wrote beautifully. Tears here for your loss, my loss of treasured friends to cancer, and tears of gratitude that we had such wonderful friends in our lives. Bless you and bless Karen's family.

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  11. Perfect card, beautifully written post, and thanks for making us take the time to reflect a little.

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  12. What a lovely tribute to your friend. I know Karen's family will appreciate your lovely, appropriate card, and the warm thoughts of your friend that I'm sure you wrote inside. You're right --- cancer sucks. I don't know if there's anybody who hasn't been touched by this disease. We've all lost family and friends to this killer. Thank you for bringing to us that when we can't seem to do much of anything else, we can still appreciate life, and our loved ones who are still around us.

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  13. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend, Susan. You've written beautifully and touched my heart. Your card is perfect and I'm sure Karen's family will truly appreciate it and the sentiment that sits behind it.

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  14. I am so sorry about your friend. I found your post to be so moving and so very true. Cancer really does suck--my brother in law, who is in his early 50's was just diagnosed with kidney cancer, and is undergoing treatment right now. I know that your card and your friendship will bring whatever comfort is possible to your friends husband and daughters.

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  15. Thank you for your thoughts, Susan. Cancer sucks. Leaving it at that.

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  16. Thank you!
    - For sharing your memories of you friend Karen
    - For sharing your lovely card.
    - But above all for reminding us to live today, now.
    That is precious and special!

    Rene

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  17. Condolences on the loss of your friend, Susan. So glad that her life exemplified "living" and that she was an inspiration to you. I appreciate your thoughts. Your card is nice. When I saw it, I immediately thought of a warm embrace, the kind you would give her husand and daughters if you were there. :)

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  18. Nice tribute to your friend! I've tried this philosophy since my breast cancer, I hope I instill that in friends and people I meet, but it's hard sometimes, and seems overwhelming at other times. But some days... it's just right!

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  19. What a beautiful tribute to Karen! She was certainly lucky to have you in her life. I'm sorry for your loss. I have lost many family members and friends to cancer. It is a terrible disease. It sucks, really. The card is lovely, and perfectly fitting for Karen. I'm sure her family will appreciate receiving it. God bless you all!

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  20. This disease scares me...I mean REALLY scares me! It knows no boundaries and seems to be gaining strength. A very eloquently written tribute to your dear friend. May she rest in peace and live in your heart forever.

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  21. Susan, thank you for sharing your wonderful thoughts with all of us in blogland. You write so beautifully. I never know what to say in these times, but I am sorry for the loss of your friend. Cancer is so awful. You are right - we can and should celebrate life even as we mourn.

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  22. Susan, I haven't met you in person, but I can honestly say I love you!
    Please accept my heartfelt thanks for sharing your thoughts and ideas with us and for the reminder that life is short but sweet.
    hugs, Sherry

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  23. I'm very sorry to hear that your friend, Karen, died. At the same time, I'm very happy to hear that she LIVED in the time she was given. Thank you for your poignant tribute to her, to how well she did that, so with your words, she can now be an inspiration to perfect strangers.

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  24. I'm so sorry Susan; cancer stinks. My mom just survived the early stages and is finishing up radiation. It took an emotional toll on me~ Your card is beautiful~it celebrates Karen's passion.

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  25. Wow, that post brought tears to my eyes. Cancer has taken too many great people too soon, but you're right, no matter what, we need to LIVE FOR TODAY.

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  26. My mom just passed away May 30th of Stage 4 bladder cancer - she was diagnosed almost 1 year ago. She made the most of her last year, and we KNOW that she's experiencing new life, complete, and free from all pain and disease. It's a horrible disease and it takes too many people.
    I am SO sorry for your loss, and for Nick and the girls too. Living our lives to the fullest is the best way to live and praise the Giver of our lives. Thank you for sharing from your heart...

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  27. Just surfed in to see your beautiful cards. Read your post about losing your sweet friend. You truly wrote a touching tribute to her, & your sympathy card is so perfect. I'm sorry for the loss of a dear friend. We can never have too many, and it hurts terribly when we lose one. I'm glad that you can realize she 'lived' the last years of her life, doing things she truly loved. I'm sure you were a strong support for her. Thanks for sharing the card and the story of her life. And good luck to your friend, Zandra. I pray her surgery will go well and all things afterward.

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  28. So sorry to hear of the loss of your friend Karen and for your concerns for your other friends. My love to you and their families.

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  29. Beautiful Card and comments. I try and get up every day and Thank God for a new day and a clean slate to "write" on. We don't know how many we will be blessed with.

    Ruth

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  30. Beautifully said, I'm so sorry for your loss, Gay xxx

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Thank you so much for taking time to comment!