Wednesday, November 9, 2011

A Non-Crafty Post: Where Has My Mind Gone?

Nothing card related here yet. Sorry about that. I just posted this on my other blog, but thought I'd share it here, too.

In Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Harry discovers Dumbledore's pensieve, a device that allows the headmaster to siphon off thoughts and look at them outside his brain. He tells Harry that it's useful when he has too many thoughts.

I want a pensieve.

My head is so crammed with thoughts that my memory circuits and gross motor coordination are suffering burnout. I remember, years ago, a virtual stranger telling me to be extra careful as I prepared our second house for sale. She said that stressed and busy people are so preoccupied with their thoughts they forget important things and get careless with their bodies. She recommended lists and staying centered in my body as I worked.

Before I started my Crazy Cleaning Witch frenzy on Monday, I reminded myself of this woman's sage advice and then promptly did the following:

1. I found the kids' Halloween cards in a box in the craft room. Forgot to give them on Halloween as planned.

2. I forgot an entire conversation about financials George claims we had. Suspect he had the conversation with his imaginary wife Bambi, who runs marathons, and has red hair without a lick of gray and large ta-tas. I hate her.

3. I forgot Jack had fed Daisy and thus committed the grievous mommy crime of entering a child's bedroom after he's supposed to be asleep. Remembered just as his eager and very awake face lit up that yes, he did indeed feed Daisy that afternoon.

4. I dropped a small bookshelf on my toe. No damage done, but as I had told myself "Don't drop this bookshelf on your toe" before I picked it up in the first place, I felt pretty stupid.

5. I have a bruise on my thigh. No idea where it came from.

6. I scraped a knuckle and cut a finger and didn't notice either until sticky blood caught my attention.

7. I decided to wait until Friday to move heavy stuff to the basement so George, who has Friday off, could help. Wait. That's actually sane and sensible.

This morning, George came downstairs and asked, "Do you remember telling me you sewed the button back on my brown pants?"

"Sure," I said.

He laughed. "Well, you didn't."

I clearly remember sewing that darn button on months ago. My brain is now telling me I've accomplished things I haven't in an effort to whittle the to do list down to something manageable, which is a clear indication that I need professional help. Pretty soon, when my house is ready to go on the market and I win my gold medal for "Best Staged House of 2011" Award, I'm going to find a psychiatrist and demand valium with a whiskey chaser and sleep for a week.

Maybe my mind will come back to me.

I think I'm going to need it.


  1. lol.. this is funny :)
    We are expecting our second little on in another 12 days - planned C-sec.. and I feel a bit like that.. I am crazy wired and worried and think of everything that happens in the hospital from the cleanup they do down-town.. to the spinal and then well, all the squeezing and prodding of them ta-tas to ensure well the baby has something to eat! lol :)

    If you find your mind, do say a hello from me :D

  2. no need for professional help ... just take a few deep breaths, know things will get missed, and take care of yourself!! LOL Susan, you make me laugh!!

  3. Yeah, I hate Bambi too. Sounds way too perfect. LOL.

    Seriously, slow down and breathe and think of happy thoughts. I know how stressful everything about buying a new home is.

  4. Bless your heart. ;(
    Confusion is bad (I know, fellow English major...using bad is bad...but it fits here). Clarity is good. I pray you have clarity. ;)

  5. I think Bambi is a bigamist - or does that apply to women as well? Bigamatrix? Coming up with a feminine version could be fun...but I think she's my hubby's imaginary wife as well. Harumph.
    I don't have half going on like you do, but I did have the mystery blood event myself this week - there goes a coat into the wash. So strange when that happens! And finally, there's a poster going around this week that says something along the lines of "Make mine a mocha-vodka-valium-latte" - I'll join you :)

  6. You made me laugh! Off to garden smiling. Thanks!

  7. Oh Susan, I am sending you a cyber {hug} I have major 'brain fog' from Fibromyalgia, it is much worse when I'm tired and/or stressed.It seems that 'A' type personalities suffer a lot. Just today I discovered an identical jumper to one I just ordered, some christmas crafting goodies also arrived.. sadly they also did yesterday from a totally different store! I have timers all round the house as several times I have left the hose running on all night...
    I find card making helps make me relax and 'focus' on just one thing at a time although I find it very hard to decide what sketch, what stamp etc etc, it drives me bonkers as I was always a 'split decision, get on with it NOW' kinda person before I was ill, being 48 isn't helping either! I feel a lot better now that I allow myself not to be perfect and not get everything on my -to-do- list done, (if I can find the lists!)
    I don't suffer from OCD cleaning, (quite the opposite in fact) although my husband really wishes I did!
    I hope you get a chance to take a deep breath and go to your happy place real soon!
    Donna x

  8. I'll bet Bambi owns a few awesome sports bras. Marathon running and big boobies? Damn. Bet she's a centerfold too. My hubby has one too - her name is Destiny and I hate her too. Deep breaths and lists.

  9. At least you are wearing clothes... or maybe that is a big assumption on my part. Whenever I am having one of "those" moments (days, weeks, etc.) I remind myself that at least I'm wearing clothes and consider that a big accomplishment.

  10. LOL! I really like number 2. I suspect my husband has conversations with his imaginary wife as well. Either that or I've lost MY mind and I refuse to entertain that idea. Cyber hugs to you!

  11. OMGosh, you are such a blast! Love your post today. Your blog is my go-to blog for inspiration and down-to-earthness. You have a fabulous sense of humor. Thank you for taking the time from your hectic schedule to write. I'm still smiling as I write! Hugs, and good luck with the sale of your home. :-)
    Ann in IL (Gingerwoodie)

  12. 1. Lists
    2. Do take care. This part of life is like driving in mall parking lots pre-Christmas. Accidents happen! Serious ones.
    3. Take your vitamins-really!

    When my husband was in grad school, I had a quote that said, "As soon as this is over, I am going to have a nervous breakdown. I iearned it, I deserve it and nobody is going to deprive me of it!" Well, you will have a wonderful new place to live when this is over, and I am sure you have picked out the corner for the Christmas tree already. Envision that (frequently) and it will get you through.

  13. I've had a frazzled morning at work today. A lot having to do with memory and "where did we store that", and "there must have been a reason" we did it that way. My co-worker said I probably just need a new mother board. LOL

    At least you are laughing about it all. : )

  14. Breathe. Smile. Relax.
    After all have your humor in place atleast! :)
    Put on some wild music and work your way thru! When this is all over...then you can analyze bra sizes and attempt your own marathon crafting session. One point in your favor. :)

  15. When things are hectic and I find myself in the same place you are right now, I say to myself....This too shall pass....and it will. It might not be as fast as you'd like for it to be, but it will pass.

    The year we moved....Hurricane Ivan destroyed most of the houses in our neighborhood...ours was one of the few that survived with only minimal damage (over $10,000, but still minimal compared to some). Our area generally has 6-7 thousand houses on the market at any given time...after Ivan, there were less than 1500 houses on the market - ours being one of them. We had 6-7 visits a day from prospective buyers. We had started building a house just 3 months prior to Ivan hitting the Gulf we also had to wait for the builders to get back to work on our house (supplies were VERY difficult to obtain because of the storm). All we could do is hope and pray that the house where we were living (for over 24 years...just imagine the STUFF we had) didn't sell BEFORE our new house was complete.

    It's truly a day to day thing....our house sold and the new owners allowed us to rent from them for 1 month until we could move into our new's all about timing.

    And remember...THIS TOO SHALL PASS...

    Cyber hugs to you, Susan!!

  16. OMG, you are just too funny, Susan! Didn't really expect a post from you but so glad I didn't miss it. Take care of yourself and remember, this will all be behind you soon and life moves forward. Then you'll be able to create in your new craft room. : )

  17. Valium with a whiskey chaser! You are my kind of woman.

    I find cuts on my hands all the time. Glad I'm not alone.

  18. It sounds like you have the perfect cure-all, Susan! Hang in there, and remember that when this is all over, you will be enjoying that fabulous new craft room. By the way, I have no excuse, and I don't remember conversations that I 'definitely had' with DH. I think it must be a conspiracy! Bambi really should be illegal!

  19. I just want to tell you that I can SO relate to your post! And, glad it's not just me that those sorts of things happen to.

  20. Hey, Susan, if you find your sanity, check for mine. I think I lost it a while back! Good luck with the house sale. The only thing worse about having to clean to show is having to keep it clean.

  21. lol... I can't stop laughing! You're in my prayers girl! Hang in there, and think of the end result, a beautiful new home!

  22. Oh, Susan, this had me in tears! Why don't you get Bambi to clean the house for staging? She'd probably wear short shorts and a tight t-shirt while she worked.

  23. My DH 's fantasy wife is WonderWoman- not much hope for me either then !!Lol! At least you can still make me laugh Susan!Hugs to you!

  24. Don't feel bad. I was just about to report my purse as stolen after searching my car only to discover it was on my shoulder! ...and the list goes on...

  25. Susan- Thanks for the laughs first thing this morning! I really understand and my only advice is to take a deep breath, and make sure your list is on a piece of posterboard so it doesn't get lost in the shuffle, and don't forget to shower! It's a great place to meditate!!!! Tell George that Bambi has moved across country, and will not be returning. Hugs, my friend!

  26. Saying the Serenity Prayer slows me down and gives me a chance to think things through, and there is always the Chinese Proverb,"There is so much to do, I am going to bed."

    You & your family have made it through a few Big Things in your lives and you'll make it through this one, also. You might want to look at the cards you have made, especially the ones with leaves (not just Fall leaves). I find them so calm and soothing. I hope you know what I mean.

    Carolyn (mcw519)

  27. You certainly haven't lost your sense
    of humor!! Take care and remember to
    take a lot of deep breaths. Stress
    is like an eraser to the mind and a
    constant heavy weight on the body.
    I hope you can carve out a little
    time to take care of yourself.

  28. Wow, thanks for the warning. I guess I had better not move, ever!

  29. Well, the good news are not alone. I think we've all been there, done that and some of us seem to stay there (like me). I hope things settle down for you soon. I hope you have a great day!

  30. Your wonderful sense of humor will see you through it all.

    I moved for the last time 15 years ago; California to Texas. Never again. If my home ever goes on the market, my sons can deal with preping it for sale ..... after my funeral. LOL

    Though I have to say, a shot of whiskey, even without the valium, certainly can't hurt towards a little sleep at this point. ;)

  31. Sounds like the experts are right when they say moving is right at the top of the list of most stressful life events!!

    I laughed out loud when I read about Bambi. You know that those large ta-tas hurt like crazy when she runs marathons - I have it from a friend of mine who has personally experienced the pain.

  32. OH Susan, you must feel so blessed reading all these comments. You really have a wonderful support group.
    The best idea of all is to let Bambi clean your house -- maybe she is just your alter ego. :)

  33. Oh, Susan! You made my day with this post! Thanks for making me smile from ear-to-ear AND starting my day out with a note from someone who understands that the loss of memory sometimes comes from living a very full and wonderful life!

  34. Remember how sane you felt a few days ago? You'll feel that way again. Probably.

    Thought of you yesterday -- stopped by Joann's and saw a big display of Sizzix/Basic Grey dies. The most prominent? A giant pear.

    There, now get back to it :)

  35. Catching up on my emails, I'm reading your blog posts from newest to oldest. This is just toooo funny! Your blog is such a delight to read. Intending to bring you a smile, here's a little story that will clearly prove that you ae not alone! A few weeks ago I listened to my voice mail messages while I was writing the list for my housekeeper, and thinking of what ingredients I needed for a new recipe I wanted to try. After listening to a few messages, the next was from my Mother. After she stopped talking, I replied. When she didn't answer me back, I said 'Mom, Mom??' Still no reply. I promptly called her and when she answered I said 'Hi Mom, I guess we must've been disconnected.' There was a pause and she replied "We couldn't have been disconnected because we weren't talking." I thought she was having a senior moment and said 'Yes, Mom we were. You were saying ... and I told you ..." Then she said to me "The last time we talked on the phone was at 10:00 p.m. last night." She went on to tell me that what I had just repeated to her was a message she had left on my voice mail. Then it dawned on me. I had been so lost in thought that I verbally replied to her voice mail, thinking she was we were actually on the phone at the time. Heehee! OMGosh! Who was having a senior moment? This senior who won't even be considered a senior for another near-15 years! Heehee! Needless to say, now she has "one on me" and I'll never be able to live that one down. In fact, I can already hear her telling that story at the next family get-together. Unless of course, she forgets by then. Hahaha! :)

  36. Susan, you brighten my day so much, even when you are supposed to be on a break from posting. Just reading many of these comments has me laughing out loud, especially Doris who is ready to call the police about her purse. I can identify with that one.


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