Lynne Phelps commented on that post and said, "I would also love to see this same card but with the sentiment moved straight up to just above the panel, to integrate the white space into the panel elements."
Now, I had actually considered putting the sentiment on the white space but decided against it because I felt the unity of the raised panel would suffer. Your eye stays in the raised panel here and moves around it. Dragging the eye to the white card base felt wrong to me.
But Lynne's comment made me wonder, so I made the card she asked for.
Take a look at them side by side.
The side-by-side photo shows clearly how much more "breathing room" there is on Lynne's suggested version than on mine, which feels a bit claustrophobic in comparison.
If I'd put the sentiment on the card where Lynne suggested, however, I would never have left the card that way. I would have added something else to the focal point...making it bigger, perhaps a few more leaves in various shades of brown or a single larger leaf. This placement feels unbalanced to me with such a piddly-looking focal point (the dark brown leaf) separated from the large sentiment. In fact, the little spot of dark brown looks almost like a hole in the more open design, doesn't it? With the sentiment on the stamped panel, at least it looks like they go together.
With just a single brown leaf and twine bow as the focal point, I prefer the sentiment on the stamped panel for my original reason of putting it there: it unifies the stamped panel.
Consider larger and/or more leaves plus the sentiment placed on the card base OR a smaller sentiment on the base with the single smaller leaf. Either would definitely be even better than my original card!
Thanks for suggesting I do this, Lynne. The next step will be trying to make that focal point look bigger and finding a smaller sentiment to use with the single leaf.
We'll see which looks better!
Supplies
stamps: Simon Says Autumn Blessings, Hero Arts wood grain background
ink: Hero Arts, VersaMagic
paper: Papertrey white, SU chocolate chip
accessories: dimensionals, twine, leaf punch
how fun to see these side by side and your commentary on it Susan. Yes, i see what you mean about needed more leaves or design down in that corner.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate the commentary and the thought process. It's interesting that this came up because I've looked at your post from September 8th several times and wondered about the text. 3 lines, 3 colors and an arrangement I found odd. Unlike Lynn, I can't think of a different way that I'd do it. I suspect you were mimicking the falling leaves with the text arrangement & color.
ReplyDeleteI love how you are able to analyze design so well, and then articulate it so I can comprehend it!! Thanks for the things I learn here!!
ReplyDeleteI like your tight grouping of elements in the first card. I might try it with the whole panel moved upward, maybe 1" or so. To give the panel more breathing room. And maybe with the twine wrapped around the whole card front, not just around the panel. I might even move the leaf and sentiment closer together. Just things I would try that might or might not work.
ReplyDeleteThanks for showing these two versions! I play around a lot with placement on my cards, and it's really interesting to me how a small change can make a big difference.
Gorgous cards, both styles are stunning :-)
ReplyDeleteVery interesting dilemma. I wonder if the sentiment in the second card is made the same color as the leaf, it would seem more balanced. In my humble opinion, am not a fan of 3 colors of brown. Thanks so much for all your teachings, Susan.
ReplyDeleteI am so honored that you acted on my suggestion. It probably would have worked better with a more linear sentiment on a single line; the two line sentiment moves the larger word further from the panel than what I envisioned. The other thing is the sentiment is lighter stamped on white, so the two browns are more different. Still, I like it very much with the sentiment in the white space! Thank you so very much, I'm delighted to have participated in your design process! I guess what bothered me about the first card was that it looked more like how I might decorate the inside of the card; the white space seemed isolated or "reserved" (as it might be for where you would write). Thank you!
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