Monday, October 10, 2011

OLW67 Again

Here are two more cards for the OLW67 challenge. The first will go to my friend Ragan, who just finished a brutal chemo treatment for breast cancer. He's doing well and will appreciate the masculine green and brown colors of this card, especially after the pink ribbon card I sent him last week as a joke. ;)




This one is for Janelle Hayes, who also finished radiation and a round of chemo recently. Cheery gold seems a good color choice for her.




Since both Ragan and Janelle are Christians, I've stamped a Bible verse inside, but general Thinking of You cards are appropriate for just about anyone battling cancer. It's a nice, neutral sentiment that lets people know they are in your thoughts without putting anything on them like get well or religious sentiments might do.

As one commenter said on yesterday's post, sometimes people worry that they'll do or say something inappropriate or hurtful to someone fighting cancer, so they do or say nothing.

Nothing is less than helpful.

If you're ever at a loss, remember that one of the best things you can do is listen, listen without judgment and without trying to fix away all their problems or worries or fears. One friend fighting cancer got mad at her mother for trying to force her to look on the bright side of her situation; my friend vented to me for ten minutes about how she just wanted her mom to acknowledge that her situation sucked. All she wanted--needed, really--was validation of her lousy feelings.

Pretending those lousy feelings aren't there just isn't healthy.

Just be there, whether it is on the phone or in email, through the snail mail, or in person. Don't be afraid to ask questions, ask what you can do to help, tell them you don't know what to say or do.

And if you're feeling too uncertain and are afraid to do anything, make a Thinking of You card and mail it. It's appropriate every time.

Supplies
stamps: PTI
paper: PTI
ink: Memento, SU mellow moss
accessories: ribbon scraps

14 comments:

  1. I completely agree with you Susan. I'm trying to teach my boys that if they don't know what to say, say just that. "I don't know what to say, but I'm thinking of you." So much better than saying nothing.

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  2. Very well said, Susan. I don't think it could ever be inappropriate to let someone know they are in your thoughts. I love the design of these cards, especially the way the script "you" extends beyond the script text below it.

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  3. Fabulously said, Susan, and two fabulous cards which will no doubt encourage the recipients.

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  4. Wonderful designs as always. I appreciate your thoughts on what to do for our friends with cancer. Your validation makes a difference since we think of you as a friend. :)

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  5. These are both fabulous! And I totally agree. I have been struggling with infertility issues for the past 7 years and it has taken that entire time for my mother to stop giving me reasons to be happy about my situation ("maybe your marriage would've been in trouble if you'd gotten pregnant right away" "maybe you couldn't handle the stress"...I could keep going). Sometimes life sucks--and we're entitled to feel that way! It's what we do with our feelings of anger that counts--not whether or not we have them.

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  6. I so agree with you! Thinking of you cards are wonderful, and I love yours.

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  7. Sensible and supportive as ever Susan, your stance couldn't be more appropriate, I applaud you! I love your cards, beautiful composition and brilliant colour choices, Gay xxx

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  8. Love the cards - how the colour of "you" matches the script.
    Thanks for wise and supportive advice.

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  9. Lovely cards!! I couldn't agree more
    with your supportive advice. I am a
    cancer survivor and the cards and support I received really helped me
    get through treatment. Just being
    there for someone as a good listener
    and friend is the best kind of support. You are so right you don't
    have to have answers or solutions--
    just love and caring.

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  10. susan,
    thank you for these lovely cards.
    thank you for your wise advice.
    enjoy your day.
    marty ferraro

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  11. I agree with you Susan.When i tried to make my aunt look at the bright side, she just said: Please, let me be afraid.
    I realised all i had to do was just listen.Now i know

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  12. Great cards - simple but heartfelt! I know what you mean about being there to listen, and also just saying "thinking of you".

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  13. Wow, Susan, fantastic advice! A very profound post. The cards are beautiful, also.

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Thank you so much for taking time to comment!